Inhale, Hold, Exhale, Repeat
by AndAnotherOneBitesTheDust
Summary: Breaking up with M'gann wasn't something Conner had wanted to do, but her actions *forced* him to. Ever since, he's been coming to the place where he feels like it's okay for him to just *be* more often. The place where the sun warms his skin, the wind blows through his hair, and the tree offers its shade. The place where he just... *Is.* Where he can inhale, hold, exhale, repeat.


A/N: Conner Kent time! Yay!(?) I've never tired at his perspective before, so. If you guys could tell me what you think, I'd be eternally grateful ^^. This is, I believe, a drabble? I could be wrong, but have zero clue. No idea what the difference between a crack fic and drabble are. (I'd appreciate if you guys could tell me the difference?)

Enjoy and please Review!

 **Pairing:** (Superboy/Conner Kent, Miss Martian/M'gann M'orzz)

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 **Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Repeat.**

" _Because she left me no choice."_

—Conner Kent, Young Justice S2, Episode 2

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Conner sighed, looking down at his hands. It's at times like these when he's grateful for the solidarity of the Kent property. Sure, there's Ma and Pa Kent, but they leave him alone whenever he comes out here. To the short-cut grass fields with the occasional large tree sprinkled around.

Closing his eyes, and curling his hands into fists, Conner let his enhanced senses be filled with the sounds and scents of the field. He let the soft, gentle, scratching sounds of the tree's leaves fill his ears, accompanied by the sound of the grass being shifted by the wind. The smell of the earth beneath his fingers and the blossoms on the tree to his back filled his nostrils and, blended with the sounds of the field in his mind, overrode it.

And he let it.

The experience is always a peaceful one, and one Conner is supremely grateful for. Sometimes, he needs this. He needs to feel at peace; to feel like he's safe; to feel like he can just _be_ for a little while. There have been several times when he's in his room at Mount Justice that he wishes he was here instead. Several occasions when he's wished he could retreat here, to this— _his_ —spot, on a small hill and leaning against _this_ tree, with his legs splayed haphazardly. Under the shade of the tree, with the wind gently brushing against him and carding through his hair and keeping him comfortably cool.

The urge to be here has increased lately. Ever since he was forced to leave M'gann. She may not think it, but she really gave him no other option, and _God_ if there had been another choice he would have latched onto it like a lifeline.

But there hadn't been.

And he's left to whatever _this_ state of existence is. Just… being, he supposes. Honestly, it feels like he's just living—whoopee. He doesn't feel like he's _alive_ ,though. When he was alive, he was still with M'gann and they were doing fine. When he was alive, he was with M'gann in the kitchen, trying—and failing—to be her cooking aid. When he was alive, he was with M'gann on the couch, with her in his arms, watching "Hello Megan" even though he found the show annoying. Whenever he was watching it with M'gann, though, it was one of the best things in existence.

Now, whenever the show turns on the television or something, he can't stand to even _look_ at it, much less listen to the theme song. The channel is always quickly flipped and he's lost in his head again.

The break-up had been hard on them both, but _damn it_ he hadn't _wanted_ to break up with her! She forced him to! _She did!_ What she was doing to people—to creatures—wasn't right. It wasn— _isn't_ , okay, because she still does it. _Still_ , even after it being the cause for their ended relationship.

It makes him wonder if he ever really meant anything to her. If she's _still_ willing to render beings— _living, breathing, beings_ —brain-dead just for the sake of some information that would have eventually been gathered otherwise, does that mean he was never anything to her? Does that mean she was going to have left him either way?

Did she ever really care?

Sure, there had been those times on missions when she'd whisper the occasional "Be safe" to him, but did she ever _really_ care _that much_ or was it just a teammate formality?

All those I love you's she'd said… Did she really mean them? Because he sure as _hell_ meant it when he'd said them. Not a single word he'd breathed—and thought, even—to her had been a lie, but what about M'gann?

 _God_ , and he _wants_ to be mad at her for making him the bad guy—for making him break up with her—but he just _can't_. Because whenever he looks at M'gann, he remembers the girl who'd seen the good he could be when even _he_ couldn't. Whenever he looks at M'gann, he sees the girl who would tell him he's _not_ a mindless weapon. Whenever he looks at M'gann, he sees the girl who _believed_ in him, and _gave him a chance_ , when no one else—not even he himself—would.

And it hurts to remember her, because who she was isn't who she is now. He knew she would change—knew they both would—and he'd been fine with it; was ready to accept the changes. But like _this?_ He'd have taken just about _anything_ else _but_ this. It's just not _okay_ , for M'gann to be completely fine with doing what she does; for her to essentially be okay with tearing the life away from a _living_ _being_.

He _can't_ accept it, even if he really wanted to. It's just not okay for her to just _do_ that.

It's _not_.

Shaking his head, Conner cleared his mind again. He doesn't need to be thinking right now—that's the whole point of him being here. To _not_ think, and relax.

The gentle sounds of the grass and tree surrounded him; comforted him, as he slouched against the tree further. As he calmed, Conner focused on his breathing. He was grateful to be able to just... just be. Conner will eternally be grateful to Kal-El, Ma Kent, and Pa Kent for accepting him into the family, albeit if it took a few months.

It had been Ma Kent who taught Conner this sort of breathing technique. Inhale, hold for seven seconds, exhale, repeat. He's used it tons since then, and it's what he does now, as he sits under the tree.

Inhale.

Hold.

Exhale.

Repeat.

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A/N: Yeah it was pretty short, but I tried several other endings but this is the one that just stuck. I hoped you guys liked!


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